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In Mourning

October 2, 2015

 

When I woke up this morning, it was to a phone call that a good friend of mine and former mentor had passed away in his sleep from brain cancer. He was not very old, in fact he was only a few years younger than my father. Earlier in the year he got a diagnosis after having some strange fugue moments and memory problems. The doctor gave him 18 month's at best, and honestly right now I couldn't;t tell you how long it really was; but it was fast. Like my father I have no regrets. I left nothing unsaid with this man, good or bad, I put it out there. This is how I choose to live my life because I never want to have that feeling like I should have said something before it was too late. I've endured allot of death in the past few years now, and I am eternally thankful that I do not have to live with the guilt of not having said what needed to be said. 


Recently an old friend from school reached out to me, or the group I should say. A loved one of hers had passed earlier in the day and she was looking for someone who could communicate with the dead. Now while I personally don't have much belief in this kind of thing, I do have some contacts in the field that claim they are sensitive. And I try never to question other peoples personal beliefs. Faith and belief are wonderful things and anything that make you feel safe and good in the world is a great thing in my book as long as it's not harming others. However, I urged my friend to give everything some time to settle before deciding to go that route. Real or not, I think a person should have a little time to mourn and reflect before making any kind of decision to do something like that. I think that it's bad to rush into such a thing without having a clear he a din the matter. First of all there are many people out there who are just waiting to take advantage of your grief. They will exploit you for money, or even just attention. And that's never healthy. Also, what if it is real? Do you really want to contact someone so soon? What are the implications? Could you be denying them the ability to get where they need to; are you denying yourself the ability to let them go and let life take it's natural course? You might be encouraging them to stick around. Or even worse, what if nothing happens. What will that do to you as a grieving individual? You would be left wondering if everything was okay, or ha that person slipped straight into oblivion?  


It's these thoughts that keep me from ever investigating anything to do with my deceased family, or my own home. I think its one of those questions where the question is equally as scary as the answer. I'm feeling it now though. The fresh sting of grief; In fact writing this blog today started as just a distraction from having to deal with loss. And that's okay; it's okay to deal with things like this a little bit at a time until you can come to really accept it. Grief is not something that you have to find a solution to. It's just there as a reminder of the things you once had, currently have, or will have. Grief keeps us grounded and appreciative of the things around us. Grief is not a bad thing, it's wonderful. It means you care. 


As a paranormal investigator it's not my job just to fiddle with science gadgets and try to talk to dead people. Sometimes it's to help counsel those who have lost or who are afraid of the unknown. I'm not a psycologist, or a minister. I didn't go to school for it. But I think that's why people come to me for council, because I don't look down from a pedestal of a degree or divine providence. When it comes to things like that, I'm a peer. I'm an equal who is going to tell you what you need to hear from personal experience and belief. 

Today I say goodbye to a very good friend of mine. I hope that he finds some measure peace. And while I'm not going to go looking for him, maybe my buddy can throw me a bone and pop in sometime for a great EVP, just for fun. Just to let me know he's okay. 

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